I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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