I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
that's an acceptable place to lick
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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