i don't like sucking hair
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
