I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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