Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The uberlube is also flammable
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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