Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize