What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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