i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
