You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
