I'm really into asian looking animals
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
