On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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