Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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