Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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