i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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