He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
try to milk me bitch
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