Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
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