I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
