I wish I could punch you in the face.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
