So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
