You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
