I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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