He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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