And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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