nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize