Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
