It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
