i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
