you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
