mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
