you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ttyl tear gas
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize