Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
