I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You left your phone here
Wait...
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