Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
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My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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