as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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