Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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