you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
