IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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