Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
