Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
