I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I lost the right to judge tonight
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
