I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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