I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
