hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
