She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize