Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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