the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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