fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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