kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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