I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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