I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
