You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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