I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm just crazy horny about you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it