We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
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You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
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OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...