Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/mya3
  Replies (36) Good night (899) Bad night (4802)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again. http://tfl.nu/y1d0
  Replies (32) Good night (1350) Bad night (6236)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wanted to see November 5, 1985

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima (832): I wanted to see November 5, 1985 http://tfl.nu/o133
  Replies (19) Good night (4198) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay? http://tfl.nu/7tcb
  Replies (53) Good night (1270) Bad night (12505)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
  Replies (175) Good night (52804) Bad night (6214)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY. http://tfl.nu/qe8v
  Replies (24) Good night (4596) Bad night (2092)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning http://tfl.nu/dohz
  Replies (15) Good night (3879) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings. http://tfl.nu/0ge6
  Replies (10) Good night (2533) Bad night (1745)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort. http://tfl.nu/ekj0
  Replies (17) Good night (3824) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night http://tfl.nu/8aub
  Replies (6) Good night (2934) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis http://tfl.nu/prx7
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (2774)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5 http://tfl.nu/knlc
  Replies (2) Good night (1339) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby http://tfl.nu/cxps
  Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut....... http://tfl.nu/dh75
  Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet http://tfl.nu/kwah
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (379)

Randomize