Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

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  (805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with? (1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info. http://tfl.nu/n3dd
  Replies (27) Good night (888) Bad night (2881)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?

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  (770): Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich? http://tfl.nu/e2fw
  Replies (17) Good night (2241) Bad night (1181)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again

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  (727): I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again http://tfl.nu/kvos
  Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (2681)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.

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  (601): She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine. http://tfl.nu/p4hk
  Replies (21) Good night (667) Bad night (3600)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4374) Bad night (1277)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?

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  (+44): She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea? http://tfl.nu/vmb3
  Replies (19) Good night (5578) Bad night (1932)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.

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  (504): I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/1q7d
  Replies (15) Good night (4575) Bad night (987)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster

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  (717): He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster http://tfl.nu/7ph6
  Replies (14) Good night (2504) Bad night (780)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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  (316): This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python. http://tfl.nu/dk7h
  Replies (20) Good night (2582) Bad night (732)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sex on roller skates

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Floating mattress

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tie

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  (301): Sex on roller skates (202): Floating mattress (301): Tie http://tfl.nu/1xsm
  Replies (7) Good night (1954) Bad night (666)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.

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  (570): We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves. http://tfl.nu/ccdq
  Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (480)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.

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  (540): I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win. http://tfl.nu/n6kc
  Replies (12) Good night (1958) Bad night (504)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"

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  (315): That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty" http://tfl.nu/cos5
  Replies (14) Good night (1417) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.

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  (914): the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day. http://tfl.nu/xrh0
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.

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  (614): I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here. http://tfl.nu/7hi4
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (204)

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