I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
vagina is talking i cant
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human