I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
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So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.