I wish my penis had an off switch
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
