You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
