I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
