I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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