OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
