I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize