I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
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