ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize