i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
