physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
