Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
