He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
