This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
