you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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