note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
