Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
