HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize