I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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